Books

There are two things you don't want to hear when picking up books with your 4 year old.

1. Mom! CATCH!

2. Mommy, I need a ladder!

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Eyes

When I was ten I was convinced my mom had eyes in the back of her head. I'd stick my tongue out at her when I was positive she wasn't looking, yet she would know.

Now that I'm a mom, I realize that it's just something moms know. I know when my kid rolls her eyes at me. I can almost hear them roll to the very back of her pretty head.

Lord knows I don't have eyes in the back of my head. But I found this one on my butt today:

10 Is my Favorite Number 

Screaming first breaths and counting tiny toes

10 is my favorite number
“Line up on your number, children,” first day of school

10 is my favorite number 
Toeing the line between tom-girl and heels

10 is my favorite number
“Ugh mom, no one else has a curfew on the weekends!”

10 is my favorite number
Tear of joy

Run, twirl

Stop and think

Rinse and repeat
From beginning to end

My little girl forever 

But for now,

10 is my favorite number 

Signs. Signs.

Everywhere.

Baby et al. sees this sign and translates it as, “a mommy can have a purse, but daddy’s can have purses too.”

Um baby, the pc term is messenger bag, but whatevs.

Also I feel the need to mention that hubby et al. doesn’t carry a messenger bag…although there’s nothing wrong with them!

Mother Nature is a Democrat

I think Mother Nature is trying to say something to President Trumpor to next President Pence. 

I can say these things because I am a republican. 

One Liner Lucy

Schools almost out or is out for you. Depends on where you are. I can’t help but fear for next year already. You see, next year Baby et al. begins real preschool at a school she will be at until 3rd grade and with the children she will graduate with.

But Baby et al. has developed a knack for one liners. It’s started soon after she was two when she asked a homeless man at Walmart if he was her daddy. Cute, but embarrassing for mommy. She quickly followed that up when she yelled at an elderly lady at Target, “HEY YOU! Girl! Are you happy?” 

Oh and then she would walk into any room and ask, “popcorn anyone?!” And then not provide popcorn. Which is both deceiving and disappointing. She would also tell obviously fictional stories like, “I got my foot stuck in a volcano!!” I know what you’re thinking. All kids say these things, plus they’re cute. STFU Her et al. 

But then, at her strict Lutheran preschool, she started ending her prayers with either “Love you. Cookies. Amen.” Or “Amen, butterflies.” Her teachers went out of their way to mention it to me, but didn’t seem to care but I was motified.

Plus, look at her: How could this innocent, blonde haired, gray eyed baby doll be anything but flawless.

And she’s yet to say anything worthy of calling DHS….just you wait. She’s learned to top herself with lines like “I had a baby and she ran away.” And “I use to live in a green, green house with lots of green bugs.” And “I use to live in a truck.”

I can see it now, when the DHS lady is conduction her unannounced home visit, Baby et al. will flatter her with “why do you have so many cracks on you face. My Grammy doesn’t have that many cracks because she isn’t as old as you.”  

Annnd this is why I have to keep my house clean. Potential, unannounced DHS visits secondary to bizarre comments from my preschooler.

A Mouse Lost It’s Sock

The innocence of childhood struck me this morning as my 4 year old invaded my potty time. This is what she saw:And without hesitation, she declared, gasp…”MOMMY! A mouse lost its sock!” 

Because her mind is free from stress and worry and fear. And she lives a life of imagination and wonder….as all children should.