Mother Nature is a Democrat

I think Mother Nature is trying to say something to President Trumpor to next President Pence. 

I can say these things because I am a republican. 

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One Liner Lucy

Schools almost out or is out for you. Depends on where you are. I can’t help but fear for next year already. You see, next year Baby et al. begins real preschool at a school she will be at until 3rd grade and with the children she will graduate with.

But Baby et al. has developed a knack for one liners. It’s started soon after she was two when she asked a homeless man at Walmart if he was her daddy. Cute, but embarrassing for mommy. She quickly followed that up when she yelled at an elderly lady at Target, “HEY YOU! Girl! Are you happy?” 

Oh and then she would walk into any room and ask, “popcorn anyone?!” And then not provide popcorn. Which is both deceiving and disappointing. She would also tell obviously fictional stories like, “I got my foot stuck in a volcano!!” I know what you’re thinking. All kids say these things, plus they’re cute. STFU Her et al. 

But then, at her strict Lutheran preschool, she started ending her prayers with either “Love you. Cookies. Amen.” Or “Amen, butterflies.” Her teachers went out of their way to mention it to me, but didn’t seem to care but I was motified.

Plus, look at her: How could this innocent, blonde haired, gray eyed baby doll be anything but flawless.

And she’s yet to say anything worthy of calling DHS….just you wait. She’s learned to top herself with lines like “I had a baby and she ran away.” And “I use to live in a green, green house with lots of green bugs.” And “I use to live in a truck.”

I can see it now, when the DHS lady is conduction her unannounced home visit, Baby et al. will flatter her with “why do you have so many cracks on you face. My Grammy doesn’t have that many cracks because she isn’t as old as you.”  

Annnd this is why I have to keep my house clean. Potential, unannounced DHS visits secondary to bizarre comments from my preschooler.

A Mouse Lost It’s Sock

The innocence of childhood struck me this morning as my 4 year old invaded my potty time. This is what she saw:And without hesitation, she declared, gasp…”MOMMY! A mouse lost its sock!” 

Because her mind is free from stress and worry and fear. And she lives a life of imagination and wonder….as all children should.

Would Anyone Notice….

If  I slipped a Roomba onto my 10yo’s wish list? I mean, we like found a mouse and it’s a bitch to clean up after a toddler who self feeds like a blind spider monkey in a bouncy house.

Grumpy Trumpy

Do you ever saying something just to stir the pot or be the devils advocate? What if that’s all he intended and he didn’t know when to turn back? But I digress…

Let’s be real people. In four years, were going to look back at his bowl full of empty promises like every president before him. Because when you really think about it, the presidents singular power, is pretty much nill.

Que the “but he picks the scotus” and “red in house and senate”.  Well that’s all fine and dandy but similar circumstances have existed before and we’ve yet to decide into districts and compete in a Hunger Games like everyone on Facebook land is crying.

Relax. Collapsing into an anxiety ridden does not make him less of a president elect. 

Because even he is probably a little stunned by the results.