Syria

My heart hurts for Syria and it’s innocent.

The ones who are there because they were born there and look at their lives.

Iran, Russia, France, UK, and US, we meet there. In Syria and do this to their homes.

The hell they’ve gone through and now…

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Joy to the World Video (This will get your giggles going)

Total “wait for it” video. You know the Christmas program is done when the kid starts throwing up gang signs! I laugh so hard I think I peed a little.

Please share the joy.

Roll Out

Thanksgiving means my husband gets a day off. He needs it. They “rolled out” a new system of something and it didn’t go well.

They never do. Whoever coined that phrase was trying really hard to figure out something else to call this “really shitty new thing the boss is going to make you do.”

I remember when I was working and we “rolled out” a new documentation system. We had to have extra staff on hand and our meals were catered that day. Because rolling shit out sucks.

“Republicans roll out a new tax plan.” Sound better than “republicans typed up thousands of pages of new tax shit you won’t read and it’s going to really screw you over!” (It’s ok, I can that because I’m a republican.)

In my opinion, the only successful roll out in modern American history is Ludacris’s 2009 hit track “Rollout“.

Just Occupying Space Over Here

“It is just a phase.”

Spoken at me, not with

As if to negate independent thoughts, expressions, translation of life

Blend all lives into one brown blob and crown it normal

But, as a pin on a map, an address, gps coordinates, I exists. Am composed of mass, occupy space, every last cell and atom.

Bringing with it a singular view with which I create my story. One step and word at a time. Each phase building upon its predecessor.

Each step brings a new perspective.

Palpable perspective.

And in that moment my phase is my reality. A dynamic reality. Ever changing to reflect my existence. To differentiate.

Similes: Phase and reality

Honor it as if you approved it or take you blob and go. I refused to fit a mold. But this I promise you, should I ever disagree with your shoes, I’ll notify you and expect they be thrown out.

Those shoes? They were just your phase, right?

Preschool/Prehe(double hockey sticks)

What happens to my baby for the three hours she is out of my sights Monday through Friday?

Because she’s been doing this for a week now and she’s down a pound, begging for naps, and acting like she’s never been fed.

I send her to this primary colored looking baby love-me-land looking all tidy with her pigtails and cute dress. And I pick up this wild eyed, frizzy haired monstery midget with marker hands who is now dressed in someone else’s clothes, has one ponytail (I think), and a demonic voice is coming from her general direction demanding Spaghetti-O’s.

I can’t keep those things on the shelf either. Stupid Spaghetti-O’s (no I won’t Google how to really spell it!) And we’ve moved on to the “feeds 16 monsters midgets with marker hands” cans but it doesn’t matter because kid doesn’t even taste them. I’m thinking about getting her a straw next time to expedite things.

Oh and, I’m only allowed to warm them in the pan whilst she’s ripping her strangers clothes off with closed eyes, SCREAMING how she’s not tired. So about 30 seconds of “cooking”. But then they’re still, “TOO HOT MOMMY!”

My God people, be good to your teachers. I’m pretty sure most of them are currently thinking “why the hell didn’t I become a dentist?”

Best Toy for Christmas

The toddler of the house has been talking about this toy at her new preschool that she just has to have for Christmas.

It’s been described to me as, “2 fuzzy heads that you put tiny colored fuzzy squished balls in and then they fall out!” Apparently this is SO HILARIOUS!

Finally after scouring the world wide internet to no avail, I got the bright idea to follow kid into preschool and have her show me said wonder toy!

Brilliant, ey?

Behold, 2017’s Christmas must have toy:

Save your pennies folks!