Advice Day Friday

So we are still healing over here from the sudden loss of my dad. My 8 year old, Sissy et al. and my dad were very close. They went on short road trips together, would share pancakes at McDonald’s on the way to school, and hunt for really cool rocks together.

Sissy et al. also has some “ticks” and she stutters somewhat, which is common with her particular giftedness. Since my dad (her grandpa) died, her ticks have gotten worse. I’m assuming she’s trying to be strong and not cry.

So here’s what I need advice on:

How do I go about helping my 8 year old cope with the death of her grandfather? 

Last week think I had one response. I could use some more advice for this one!

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My Dad Smoked Weed and That Makes Me Happy

My dad recently passed away unexpectedly. While going through his belongings, we found a pipe. It was made of wood and had been sanded and polished…it was SO him! So I smiled. At the thought of my dad high, with the giggles or devouring a pizza because of munchies.

Let me be clear, we do not live in a state where marijuana is legal. Nor do I or my husband smoke weed. However, being in healthcare I cannot deny the medical benefits of weed. One of those being treatment for PTSD. While it is sometimes consider an antidotal symptom relief, I’m ok with that. Because my dad suffered from PTSD related to the Vietnam war and he felt relief from weed….at least I assume that’s why he was a pothead. 

He suffered. From the day he stepped on American soil again, my dad suffered daily. He remembered being in a vehicle that backed over a little boy who was shooting at them. He remembered the man next to him loosing both legs (and likely his life) to an attack. He remembered a pallet of live ammunition being dropped on his hand and everyone thinking it would explode before they could get it off of him…with a crane. He remembered being flown to a hospital after that and staying there for a week and then being sent…..right back to war. For 3 days shy of one year, my dad spent every day and night of his life, under fire. He once told my brother, “they were shooting at us as we were landing and getting off the plane.” 

And it never stopped.

My dad didn’t leave Vietnam the same. None of them did. It should be assumed they all have PTSD. People coming home from war should just be seperated into two groups: those with PTSD and those who are “in denial about having PTSD and will be diagnosed at a later date.”

So light one up for me, up there daddy! I’m so glad your pain is gone!

The American Legion and Finals Honors

In addition to the Patriot Guard Riders, The American Legion provided full military rites at my fathers funeral. They presented us with a 13-folded flag, a 21 gun salute, and the playing of Taps. Together these two groups made my dads funeral just so “him”.

My Dads Army Coat from Vietnam
  
Did you know that each of the 13 folds has meaning? See this American Legion link for an explanation of each of the 13 folds. It’s fascinating to see a proper flag folding so I’ll add a video of the actual folding on here.

The 21 gun salute at my dads funeral was the first one I’ve ever seen in person. I found a video which explains the meaning behind the salute. 

Please consider making a donation to your local American Legion in honor of Daddy et al. and all men and women who have and are serving for our country. May their bravery be exalted and honored during their lives and at their passing.

Patriot Guard Riders

Its been all over my blog, but in case you missed it, my dad passed away. It was unexpected (he hadn’t been ill). But I’d like to highlight a specific group of men and woman who participated in my fathers services.

You see, my dad was a proud American and Vietnam veteran. He was also a Harley man. So it was no surprise to me when he joined the Patriot Guard Riders (PGR). It just made sense.

Please go to the PGR website and read about them and what they do. At my dads funeral, the created a flag line and stood there while everyone came in. During the ride from the funeral home to the cemetery, they led the hearse and with their bikes, created the missing man formation. At the cemetery they made another flag line. The respect they showed, the patriotism, I was truly honored to have them. 

 
I’m sure my dad was looking down on us thinking that was pretty cool. Please consider making a donation to this organization in honor of our fallen heros. I wish we could have afforded to give more.

Emotional Starver

I’ve talked before about how I am fat and happy. I struggled for many years with anorexia and bulimia and those were the darkest years on my life. I was consumed with numbers and laxatives. (Sorry, TMI I know, but this entire article may be TMI)

I’ve come to associate lower BMI with depression and higher BMI with being happy. With today marking one week ago of having found my dads body, I cannot imagine eating. We found him last Saturday and I had one piece of pizza Monday afternoon. I felt hunger again on Thursday and ate. I don’t recall Wednesday because it was his funeral, but I likely ate something so people would be happy.

I think it’s important to know that every fat person you see, is not a lazy slob who emotional eats. Some of us have deep rooted past that are trying to keep from resurfacing.

Class Act: Advice Day Friday

At the recommendation of my Blogging 101 course, I’ve begun a new posting feature! My other posting feature thus far is Deep Thoughts. Check out the latest post! The 8th of each month I post a new fantastic, life changing quote!

My new feature will be Advice Day Friday. As some of you may know, my dad passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. 

I need advice. From the brilliant minds of fellow bloggers. How do I cope? How do I heal and move and not feel guilty about it?