Parkland, FL

I started a post today about how catty 5th grade girls are and then….

Parkland, Florida

The year after I graduated high school, was the Columbine shooting (13 lives lost). It was inconceivable that an American child would shoot and kill other American children in a school. I remember specifically and repeatedly trying to process that concept in my brain; we weren’t being attacked by another country. No this wasn’t an international war. It was the catalyst for what became a copycat, mass killing, American culture which we have carefully constructed and intricately threaded into the very fabric of who were are, with the most pigheaded and dangerous minds and laws in the world.

Because some people like to hunt.

Parkland, Florida. Killer bought an assault rifle because child killer was too young to buy a handgun.

Now go back and read that sentence again. Pigheaded and dangerous law.

Child killer wasn’t shopping for a hunting rifle. He had been expelled, he was angry, he had made threats and this has become our copycat, mass killing culture.

To him, this was the next logical step. We will start to hear all the heroic stories of teachers laying down their lives for their students because American teachers are on the frontlines of our civil war against school shootings. They become involuntary, instant, unarmed soldiers in nanoseconds. And they so commonly don’t live. (Remember that when your superintendent gives himself raise and not the teachers, btw.)

A parent said today on the news, “you never this this could happen to you.” And there usually is at least one person who says, “you never think it can it happen to you.” But what we’re all thinking is, “when is it going to happen near me?”

My heart and prayers go out to Florida.

#parklandflorida

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Breaking News-ish*Out of the Mouths of Babes

I like to spread the crazy out across multiple platforms so as to dilute the appearance of my family’s cray cray.

But Baby et al. is full of amazing tidbits of information. I would be a horrible world citizen if I didn’t pass them along. Here we go:

#1-Long ago, houses were built with dirt, hair, dead hair, candles, pencils, and teacups.

#2- There are houses under us. The “invisible people” live in those houses. (No clarification is offered on “invisible people”. Draw your own conclusions.)

#3-Boobs come in all shapes and sizes. 4 year old girls have snowflake boobs.

I will keep you updated as I learn more!

Tooth Fairy Nightmares

Obviously these dolls are not real. If they wanted true keepsakes, they could make them WAY less creepy (add baby’s first curl to the top…not really), but it bring up a good point…

I don’t mind Santa and the Easter bunny, but this Tooth Fairy business is some seriously creepy stuff…even without this spooky doll. Like, why are we doing this people? When is it going to be socially acceptable to say, “Here’s $5. Now go throw your tooth away.”

Joy to the World Video (This will get your giggles going)

Total “wait for it” video. You know the Christmas program is done when the kid starts throwing up gang signs! I laugh so hard I think I peed a little.

Please share the joy.

Alex Wubbels

Alex Wubbels is our leader. I want a tattoo of her face, on my face. So when people get out of line with me, I can show them my Wubbels.

Her arrest has gone viral for being shitty and wrong. Many scary, wrong things have happened to me as critical care nurse as well. But nothing could have prepared this poor woman for being arrested for simply advocating patients rights and clarifying hospital protocol (which was mutually agreed upon by the hospital and the police department in question, might I add). My God, that detective leapt at her like a rabid banshee! He’s lucky the holy hell of nurses didn’t rain down upon him then and there! There probably wasn’t time, he skedaddled out of there.

You would think people would have learned their lesson from The View, you don’t f@&$ with nurses. We take shit too, cops. I’ve held the hand of mom while she withdrew care from her teenage son and walked into the next room to feed a restrained, belligerent alcoholic some chocolate pudding. All while keeping a cool head.

And if that idiot detective ever does something else stupid like lights his face on fire and lands in Alex’s care one fine day, I know he will receive first class and professional care, as if they had never met (Lord knows he won’t have any unnecessary blood draws). Because if there is one thing I can tell you, us nurses can hand you your ass when need be. But when it’s time to save lives, it doesn’t matter what your name is, your life matters just as much as the next guy.

I guess that’s the difference between cops and nurses. Asshole.