Are wasps on the endangered species list? I’m talking those long, black sons of bitches whose butts hang down when they fly. Or is it socially acceptable for me to scream in terror when one comes flying at me, trying to eat my soul?


My heart hurts for Syria and it’s innocent.

The ones who are there because they were born there and look at their lives.

Iran, Russia, France, UK, and US, we meet there. In Syria and do this to their homes.

The hell they’ve gone through and now…

Parkland, FL

I started a post today about how catty 5th grade girls are and then….

Parkland, Florida

The year after I graduated high school, was the Columbine shooting (13 lives lost). It was inconceivable that an American child would shoot and kill other American children in a school. I remember specifically and repeatedly trying to process that concept in my brain; we weren’t being attacked by another country. No this wasn’t an international war. It was the catalyst for what became a copycat, mass killing, American culture which we have carefully constructed and intricately threaded into the very fabric of who were are, with the most pigheaded and dangerous minds and laws in the world.

Because some people like to hunt.

Parkland, Florida. Killer bought an assault rifle because child killer was too young to buy a handgun.

Now go back and read that sentence again. Pigheaded and dangerous law.

Child killer wasn’t shopping for a hunting rifle. He had been expelled, he was angry, he had made threats and this has become our copycat, mass killing culture.

To him, this was the next logical step. We will start to hear all the heroic stories of teachers laying down their lives for their students because American teachers are on the frontlines of our civil war against school shootings. They become involuntary, instant, unarmed soldiers in nanoseconds. And they so commonly don’t live. (Remember that when your superintendent gives himself raise and not the teachers, btw.)

A parent said today on the news, “you never this this could happen to you.” And there usually is at least one person who says, “you never think it can it happen to you.” But what we’re all thinking is, “when is it going to happen near me?”

My heart and prayers go out to Florida.


Breaking News-ish*Out of the Mouths of Babes

I like to spread the crazy out across multiple platforms so as to dilute the appearance of my family’s cray cray.

But Baby et al. is full of amazing tidbits of information. I would be a horrible world citizen if I didn’t pass them along. Here we go:

#1-Long ago, houses were built with dirt, hair, dead hair, candles, pencils, and teacups.

#2- There are houses under us. The “invisible people” live in those houses. (No clarification is offered on “invisible people”. Draw your own conclusions.)

#3-Boobs come in all shapes and sizes. 4 year old girls have snowflake boobs.

I will keep you updated as I learn more!


To be even more badass.

Although, a mother who is in her 30’s and can eloquently use MF in a sentence is most certainly leading the mother fucking drop-off lane mafia already.

I could teach you but I’d have to charge.

Cheers, mates. Here’s to 2k18! Never drink and drive.

Tooth Fairy Nightmares

Obviously these dolls are not real. If they wanted true keepsakes, they could make them WAY less creepy (add baby’s first curl to the top…not really), but it bring up a good point…

I don’t mind Santa and the Easter bunny, but this Tooth Fairy business is some seriously creepy stuff…even without this spooky doll. Like, why are we doing this people? When is it going to be socially acceptable to say, “Here’s $5. Now go throw your tooth away.”

Joy to the World Video (This will get your giggles going)

Total “wait for it” video. You know the Christmas program is done when the kid starts throwing up gang signs! I laugh so hard I think I peed a little.

Please share the joy.