You can’t read my shirt. But it says, “Mama Needs a Drink”
True story!
You can’t read my shirt. But it says, “Mama Needs a Drink”
True story!
My heart hurts for Syria and it’s innocent.
The ones who are there because they were born there and look at their lives.
Iran, Russia, France, UK, and US, we meet there. In Syria and do this to their homes.
The hell they’ve gone through and now…
Obviously these dolls are not real. If they wanted true keepsakes, they could make them WAY less creepy (add baby’s first curl to the top…not really), but it bring up a good point…
I don’t mind Santa and the Easter bunny, but this Tooth Fairy business is some seriously creepy stuff…even without this spooky doll. Like, why are we doing this people? When is it going to be socially acceptable to say, “Here’s $5. Now go throw your tooth away.”
Total “wait for it” video. You know the Christmas program is done when the kid starts throwing up gang signs! I laugh so hard I think I peed a little.
Please share the joy.
What happens to my baby for the three hours she is out of my sights Monday through Friday?
Because she’s been doing this for a week now and she’s down a pound, begging for naps, and acting like she’s never been fed.
I send her to this primary colored looking baby love-me-land looking all tidy with her pigtails and cute dress. And I pick up this wild eyed, frizzy haired monstery midget with marker hands who is now dressed in someone else’s clothes, has one ponytail (I think), and a demonic voice is coming from her general direction demanding Spaghetti-O’s.
I can’t keep those things on the shelf either. Stupid Spaghetti-O’s (no I won’t Google how to really spell it!) And we’ve moved on to the “feeds 16 monsters midgets with marker hands” cans but it doesn’t matter because kid doesn’t even taste them. I’m thinking about getting her a straw next time to expedite things.
Oh and, I’m only allowed to warm them in the pan whilst she’s ripping her strangers clothes off with closed eyes, SCREAMING how she’s not tired. So about 30 seconds of “cooking”. But then they’re still, “TOO HOT MOMMY!”
My God people, be good to your teachers. I’m pretty sure most of them are currently thinking “why the hell didn’t I become a dentist?”
The toddler of the house has been talking about this toy at her new preschool that she just has to have for Christmas.
It’s been described to me as, “2 fuzzy heads that you put tiny colored fuzzy squished balls in and then they fall out!” Apparently this is SO HILARIOUS!
Finally after scouring the world wide internet to no avail, I got the bright idea to follow kid into preschool and have her show me said wonder toy!
Brilliant, ey?
Behold, 2017’s Christmas must have toy:
Save your pennies folks!
There are two things you don't want to hear when picking up books with your 4 year old.
1. Mom! CATCH!
2. Mommy, I need a ladder!
When I was ten I was convinced my mom had eyes in the back of her head. I'd stick my tongue out at her when I was positive she wasn't looking, yet she would know.
Now that I'm a mom, I realize that it's just something moms know. I know when my kid rolls her eyes at me. I can almost hear them roll to the very back of her pretty head.
Lord knows I don't have eyes in the back of my head. But I found this one on my butt today:
Screaming first breaths and counting tiny toes
10 is my favorite number
“Line up on your number, children,” first day of school
10 is my favorite number
Toeing the line between tom-girl and heels
10 is my favorite number
“Ugh mom, no one else has a curfew on the weekends!”
10 is my favorite number
Tear of joy
Run, twirl
Stop and think
Rinse and repeat
From beginning to end
My little girl forever
But for now,