Heartbroken 

I write about grief so much it annoys me….but here we go again!

I hit a milestone yesterday. It was the first time since the passing of my father, that my heart broke for someone else. You know, there is something about the bond between a daddy and a daughter and I was devastated when I lost my dad in my 30’s. But yesterday, a longtime friend of Sissey et al. lost her father and she’s 10. 

I cannot fathom not having him there at my graduations, my wedding, the births of my children (in the waiting room). But this larger than life father now has the best seat in the house, but it’s not the same. 

This isn’t the way it should be. There are two young, school aged children who have to begin a long, complicated, and confusing grieving process that no child should ever have to endure. And so my heart breaks for them.

Live in Your Moment

Today I was shopping on the left. But two years ago I was shopping on the right. 

I used our wedding china for the first time that Father’s Day. I don’t know what prompted me to do that but for some oddball reason I’m so glad I did. As if that Father’s Day meal served on wedding china was my closure I didn’t get.

I only had a month left with him that Father’s Day and no one knew. Not even him. I was so in consolable during his services that I think all people knew what to say to me was, “I guess you really just never know.” God I got sick of hearing it. Because, I lived my moment with that damn china. 

Anger Grief

 You did this to her. This innocent (now) 10 year old who saw you as 9 foot tall and bullet proof sat out in the car while her mommy found your body.

The darkness that follows grief is scary and vast….so very vast. The very first thing that hit me was, “I can’t fix him. I’m a nurse and I’ve saved so many. But I can’t now.”

It is final. That’s what hurts. It can’t be changed no matter how bad I want to change it, no matter how hard I work, or beg, or cry, or pay. I can’t change it. 

He’s gone. Almost 3 years now and it does get better. Believe me, this IS better.

You Missed It

My crossover blog event! It was a first and a last! I subtly posted one of my Facebook posts to my personal Facebook page. Can you tell which day:  

 
Not everyone caught on because I didn’t announce, “hey guys! I’m a secret blogger!” But for those who did catch on, some of them did not approve.

And I quote, “What is this Her et al thing? Is this like something you wrote? Because I hate it!”

Thanks Ma.

The American Legion and Finals Honors

In addition to the Patriot Guard Riders, The American Legion provided full military rites at my fathers funeral. They presented us with a 13-folded flag, a 21 gun salute, and the playing of Taps. Together these two groups made my dads funeral just so “him”.

My Dads Army Coat from Vietnam
  
Did you know that each of the 13 folds has meaning? See this American Legion link for an explanation of each of the 13 folds. It’s fascinating to see a proper flag folding so I’ll add a video of the actual folding on here.

The 21 gun salute at my dads funeral was the first one I’ve ever seen in person. I found a video which explains the meaning behind the salute. 

Please consider making a donation to your local American Legion in honor of Daddy et al. and all men and women who have and are serving for our country. May their bravery be exalted and honored during their lives and at their passing.

Results of Self Promotion Saturday 

Only two bloggers responded to this weeks self promotion Saturday! So I’m going to take a minute and highlight those two blogs! Check them out; show them some love!

1-Middle Aged Rage is an anger translator named Luther…wait…what? Spend only a few minutes on this blog and you will find depth with quirky elements. 

2-Guiding Young Goddesses is blog I could potentially turn into my bible as my 8 already thinks she is a teenager! Check out her Facebook page also! 

Check back on Saturday to shamelessly promote your blog and Facebook fan page!

Self Promotion Saturday 

Alrighty fellow 101 bloggers as a final goodbye, I’ve decided to create Self Promotion Saturday! Post a link to your Facebook fan page for your blog in the comments and I’ll like your page! As I grow my Facebook fan page, I’ll promote certain blogs I find interesting every week. 

Let help grow each other!