Preschool/Prehe(double hockey sticks)

What happens to my baby for the three hours she is out of my sights Monday through Friday?

Because she’s been doing this for a week now and she’s down a pound, begging for naps, and acting like she’s never been fed.

I send her to this primary colored looking baby love-me-land looking all tidy with her pigtails and cute dress. And I pick up this wild eyed, frizzy haired monstery midget with marker hands who is now dressed in someone else’s clothes, has one ponytail (I think), and a demonic voice is coming from her general direction demanding Spaghetti-O’s.

I can’t keep those things on the shelf either. Stupid Spaghetti-O’s (no I won’t Google how to really spell it!) And we’ve moved on to the “feeds 16 monsters midgets with marker hands” cans but it doesn’t matter because kid doesn’t even taste them. I’m thinking about getting her a straw next time to expedite things.

Oh and, I’m only allowed to warm them in the pan whilst she’s ripping her strangers clothes off with closed eyes, SCREAMING how she’s not tired. So about 30 seconds of “cooking”. But then they’re still, “TOO HOT MOMMY!”

My God people, be good to your teachers. I’m pretty sure most of them are currently thinking “why the hell didn’t I become a dentist?”

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I Quit

I quit voting. The pool of possible candidates sucks. On both sides of the aisle. 

And does it even matter? Whoever we elect will be faced with political gridlock and none of their promises will come true. Unless he /she over rides them and then half the country gets pissed.

Why in Gods name would anyone want this job? Who’s circle am I going to fill in in November?

I miss being excited about the potential of an improvement in our country based on how I voted.

I’d rather vote for my nonexistent cat than anyone currently running.

Maybe I’ll write in someone who has “suspended their campaign”. Maybe I’ll vote for:

  

 

Never gets old….well maybe it’s getting closer to getting old…but I’m not done yet. 

❤️U 

Her et al.iens….
 

Don’t Tell Anyone…

Oh sh!t you guys. My kid jacked the Declaration of Independence! 

Shhhhhhh…..quiet! 

There I was, going through her backpack when I spotted it: I mean, it looks legit. And it’s clearly titled! It may look a smidge different than the last time I visualized the Declaration of Independence, but the lighting in that building suuuuucccckkks. 

I couldn’t tell you how she did this, I don’t even know when she had the time to fly to DC. Nor did I think she would be able to locate the National Archives Building, let alone bypass all the security! What do I do now?

There’s only one explanation:

  
Hahaha

   

Guess What Yesterday Was

Nicolas Cages birthday!! Can’t believe I missed it and y’all didn’t point it out to me. How shall we honor him, Her et al.iens? 

How’s about combining two of the worlds favorite treasures? Yes, that’s right! Nic Cage plus Disney princesses! 

Thanks Buzzfeed! 

Click and enjoy!

25 Days of Nicolas Cage-Day 25

Yes you did read that right. Today is our final day. It will be nice to return to my normal blog scheduled events. But I’m going to miss that chap.

Here is my final meme: 

Because my heart is this cage. And in it, Nicolas just screams because it’s cold and black and smells like coffee in there.

I’ll leave you with this tidbit from cracked:

 Now, if The 25 Days of Nicolas Cage has taught us anything….it’s taught us that Mr. Cage just does not make good decisions.

Bonus~

All new followers today will receive a return follow! Cheers mate!

25 Days of Nicolas Cage-Day 24

Well. Tomorrow is the last day! I’m all verclempt just thinking about it, but I digress. 

 I was really torn between this meme’s and tomorrow’s as my favorite. It still makes me giggle snort.