Parkland, FL

I started a post today about how catty 5th grade girls are and then….

Parkland, Florida

The year after I graduated high school, was the Columbine shooting (13 lives lost). It was inconceivable that an American child would shoot and kill other American children in a school. I remember specifically and repeatedly trying to process that concept in my brain; we weren’t being attacked by another country. No this wasn’t an international war. It was the catalyst for what became a copycat, mass killing, American culture which we have carefully constructed and intricately threaded into the very fabric of who were are, with the most pigheaded and dangerous minds and laws in the world.

Because some people like to hunt.

Parkland, Florida. Killer bought an assault rifle because child killer was too young to buy a handgun.

Now go back and read that sentence again. Pigheaded and dangerous law.

Child killer wasn’t shopping for a hunting rifle. He had been expelled, he was angry, he had made threats and this has become our copycat, mass killing culture.

To him, this was the next logical step. We will start to hear all the heroic stories of teachers laying down their lives for their students because American teachers are on the frontlines of our civil war against school shootings. They become involuntary, instant, unarmed soldiers in nanoseconds. And they so commonly don’t live. (Remember that when your superintendent gives himself raise and not the teachers, btw.)

A parent said today on the news, “you never this this could happen to you.” And there usually is at least one person who says, “you never think it can it happen to you.” But what we’re all thinking is, “when is it going to happen near me?”

My heart and prayers go out to Florida.

#parklandflorida

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Breaking News-ish*Out of the Mouths of Babes

I like to spread the crazy out across multiple platforms so as to dilute the appearance of my family’s cray cray.

But Baby et al. is full of amazing tidbits of information. I would be a horrible world citizen if I didn’t pass them along. Here we go:

#1-Long ago, houses were built with dirt, hair, dead hair, candles, pencils, and teacups.

#2- There are houses under us. The “invisible people” live in those houses. (No clarification is offered on “invisible people”. Draw your own conclusions.)

#3-Boobs come in all shapes and sizes. 4 year old girls have snowflake boobs.

I will keep you updated as I learn more!

Tooth Fairy Nightmares

Obviously these dolls are not real. If they wanted true keepsakes, they could make them WAY less creepy (add baby’s first curl to the top…not really), but it bring up a good point…

I don’t mind Santa and the Easter bunny, but this Tooth Fairy business is some seriously creepy stuff…even without this spooky doll. Like, why are we doing this people? When is it going to be socially acceptable to say, “Here’s $5. Now go throw your tooth away.”

Joy to the World Video (This will get your giggles going)

Total “wait for it” video. You know the Christmas program is done when the kid starts throwing up gang signs! I laugh so hard I think I peed a little.

Please share the joy.

Roll Out

Thanksgiving means my husband gets a day off. He needs it. They “rolled out” a new system of something and it didn’t go well.

They never do. Whoever coined that phrase was trying really hard to figure out something else to call this “really shitty new thing the boss is going to make you do.”

I remember when I was working and we “rolled out” a new documentation system. We had to have extra staff on hand and our meals were catered that day. Because rolling shit out sucks.

“Republicans roll out a new tax plan.” Sound better than “republicans typed up thousands of pages of new tax shit you won’t read and it’s going to really screw you over!” (It’s ok, I can that because I’m a republican.)

In my opinion, the only successful roll out in modern American history is Ludacris’s 2009 hit track “Rollout“.