Standing Up

Every few years, my daughter kicks someone’s ass. Kinda

3 yo-she was playing with a computer at daycare. It was an old computer that only turned on but all the kids loved typing on it like it did something.

Well Little Miss Prissy Pants had been pushing Sissy et al. around for a few weeks and Sissy et al. every so often would push back and they would both be put in “yellow” which means “HEY! Watch it baby!!”

But on this day Miss Bitchy Pants(…yes she’s evolved) pushed Sissy et al. off of the computer chair right as her computer time was just starting! So she jacked the bitch. Naw just kidding. But she did bite her arm. She wasn’t “a biter”, she just decided to do it this one time.

Biting results in “red”, notes, and talks with mommy.

6 yo-1st week of kindergarten. Nothing like starting off on the right foot! Sissy et al. took a ball out for recess so she was holding it in line to bring it back in when the short girl in front of her turns around and smacks the bottom of the ball sending it flying through the air across the play ground.

And all the kids laughed as Sissy et al. chased the ball down and got back in line….only to have that little shit face turn around and do. The . Exact. Damn. Thing. Again.

And with tears in her eyes she chased down the ball a second time and returned to spot in line behind female Lucifer….who turned again with a shit eating grin on her face and….Sissy et al. drops the ball. Balls up her fist…

(I’d like to take this time to tell you that I have never been in a fight. I’ve never punched anyone. We’ve never spanked our children, in fact they toe the line of spoiled, plus we don’t even watch those kind of shows.)…

…..ok. I digress. She balls up her tiny right fist and lands what her kindergarten teacher described as an impressive right hook.

Right hooks get sit downs with principals and class rearrangements.

9 yo-Man killa. She and her girls were in a group chatting bout boys and which ones they liked. When one lad backed up to the group, hoping to eavesdrop his name. Feeling disrespected, Sissy et al. turned and kicked him. In the shin. While he was in shorts and she was wearing super cute booties! He bled, needed a band aid. And since the nurse was in, she had to put it on. And since the nurse had to “attend to his injury”, sissy et al. had to serve detention.

So tell me, how much street cred does your 9 yo have?

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